Running/a Japanese wake/arranged marriages

Ran 10K yesterday. The only thing that got me through the last 2K was the thought that if I hurried up and finished, then I could throw up in my own sink rather than on the side of the road in front of Japanese people. Then I went rock climbing. Remind me never to do anything that stupid again-- I am exhausted today.
In other news, Ogawa-san's mother-in-law died the other week, so I went to my first Japanese wake. First the body sits in the house for two days. Then they burn the body, and the family takes the bones out and puts them in three boxes depending on the importance of the bones. The wake is a closed casket with the person's picture on top. The downstairs room was full so some of us sat in an upstairs room and watched what was happening downstairs on a big movie screen. Then you walk down and sprinkle dirt like we do at the buddhist temple, and then you walk out and bow to the family, who thanks you for coming. When you go, you give an envelope with koden in it. Koden is a monetary gift usually around 3000 yen or $30. They give you a present for attending the wake. In this case it was a hand towel, a beer, and a box of cookies.
Went to see Ogawa-san then on Friday and we had an interesting discussion about marriage/divorce/a woman's role or duty/love vs sex/and arrange marriage. All this was with the help of exchange student Feni from Indonesia, who was translating back and forth. I am always amazed when people feel arranged marriage is the way to go, but when you hear the arguments and then look at the divorce rate in the U.S., they have a point. Ogawasan's marriage was arranged and she never loved her husband, but she feels it is necessary to think of the family, and not only yourself and she feels that is the problem with America today--everyone is only concerned about their own wants. She says she has grown to love her husband and when you start on a high, you have no where to go but down, so best to start with nothing. I had heard the argument in favor of arranged marriage before from the guys in Bangladesh, who were excited to have their parents choose their mate. Ogawa-san then moved into her husband's home--his step-mother, the woman who just died was a difficult woman to live with, but Ogawa-san is happy she was able to be a good wife and daughter-in-law. Ogawa-san also believes a woman's first responsibility is to raise a family, and should only have a job if she really wants one and if she can do it from her home while she watches the children--and she is anti-sex before marriage. She says it's okay that I want to write and do theatre because I those are fun jobs that I can do while I stay home like a good housewife.....riiiiiiight. It was really cool being able to debate those types of cultural differnces. Poor Feni must have had a headache by the time we left with all the translation.